Churchgoers’ ignorance

WE who live on The Crescent in Lymm are blessed every week by the presence of kindly churchgoers who frequent the Baptist church on Higher Lane.

Residents are treated to a spectacular display of fine automobiles and designer clothes as the Godfearing of our society glide past our humble homes on their way to church.

We do not mind that their cars block our driveways and pavements because they are our betters and we are grateful that their goodness brings a little light into our lives.

We especially appreciate the manner in which our social superiors park on both sides of the narrow road and benevolently leave a two foot gap so that God’s gentle rain can run unhindered along the gutter.

This of course would cause the residents some problems in getting in and out of The Crescent but the Baptists have thought of this and considerately block in our cars so we cannot move them anyway.

A local peasant did have the tenacity to ask one of the nobles if he might move his car and was told that he was late for the service and as an upstanding member of the community he could park his car anywhere he likes.

We who live on The Crescent look forward to this weekly display of opulence and think ourselves lucky that the God fearing members of the Baptist church have specifically chosen us for their well meaning abuse.

PAUL THOMASON

Lymm

Comments(55)

Pauline McEwan says...
12:06pm Thu 6 Dec 12

I checked with the police years ago as to whether I could park in front of someones drive and was told as long as there wasn't a car in it then you could.

This is obviously a case of ignorance as if someone had an emergency and had to get out they wouldn't be able to if their drive is blocked.

steven46 says...
12:12pm Thu 6 Dec 12

But what if the drive was empty because the home owners were out Pauline? If I were you Paul i would get all the residents of The Crescent to park their cars on the road on a Sunday morning, therefore leaving the members of the church going community nowhere to park

Pauline McEwan says...
12:17pm Thu 6 Dec 12

steven46 wrote:
But what if the drive was empty because the home owners were out Pauline? If I were you Paul i would get all the residents of The Crescent to park their cars on the road on a Sunday morning, therefore leaving the members of the church going community nowhere to park
Unfortunately if the drive is empty you can park in front of it. I agree with your comment about parking their cars on the road the night before but if it was nicked and the insurance was that it was parked in a drive then it wouldn't be covered. Insurance companies will do everything to avoid paying out.

If they were up early enough (not sure what time these people are going to church as there are different services) then they could then move the cars on to the street.

MikeJT says...
12:35pm Thu 6 Dec 12

Pauline McEwan wrote:
steven46 wrote:
But what if the drive was empty because the home owners were out Pauline? If I were you Paul i would get all the residents of The Crescent to park their cars on the road on a Sunday morning, therefore leaving the members of the church going community nowhere to park
Unfortunately if the drive is empty you can park in front of it. I agree with your comment about parking their cars on the road the night before but if it was nicked and the insurance was that it was parked in a drive then it wouldn't be covered. Insurance companies will do everything to avoid paying out.

If they were up early enough (not sure what time these people are going to church as there are different services) then they could then move the cars on to the street.
Pauline....the question about the location of a vehicle at night is where is it USUALLY parked so the insurance company would not be able to use that get-out (although I recognise parking in the morning would be a better option).

The law regarding access to driveways is a very grey area. Ask a dozen police officers and you will probably get at least 5 different interpretations. The only thing they would agree on is that if the highway is blocked in such a way as to make it dangerous then a traffic offense IS being committed.

The other option that COULD be used is that if a person consistently parks in such a way which is legal BUT which can be seen as unreasonable/antagon
istic then police may be able to do something as its an action whist is liable to cause a breach of the peach.

First things would be to speak to your local community police officer.

HappyMisery says...
3:01pm Thu 6 Dec 12

MikeJT wrote:
Pauline McEwan wrote:
steven46 wrote:
But what if the drive was empty because the home owners were out Pauline? If I were you Paul i would get all the residents of The Crescent to park their cars on the road on a Sunday morning, therefore leaving the members of the church going community nowhere to park
Unfortunately if the drive is empty you can park in front of it. I agree with your comment about parking their cars on the road the night before but if it was nicked and the insurance was that it was parked in a drive then it wouldn't be covered. Insurance companies will do everything to avoid paying out.

If they were up early enough (not sure what time these people are going to church as there are different services) then they could then move the cars on to the street.
Pauline....the question about the location of a vehicle at night is where is it USUALLY parked so the insurance company would not be able to use that get-out (although I recognise parking in the morning would be a better option).

The law regarding access to driveways is a very grey area. Ask a dozen police officers and you will probably get at least 5 different interpretations. The only thing they would agree on is that if the highway is blocked in such a way as to make it dangerous then a traffic offense IS being committed.

The other option that COULD be used is that if a person consistently parks in such a way which is legal BUT which can be seen as unreasonable/antagon

istic then police may be able to do something as its an action whist is liable to cause a breach of the peach.

First things would be to speak to your local community police officer.
Why not send the local kids out when they start parking to ask "Watch your car mister?"

You'll be amazed how many of these people will suddenly find elsewhere to park.

HappyMisery says...
3:05pm Thu 6 Dec 12

The other alternative is of course for you to park across the front of the crescent and stop them from parking at all. If anyone challenges you, simply advise that the rule is "you can park wherever you want".

Or call the fire brigade and explain the situation when it happens again. If an engine can't navigate through the gap, anyone causing an obstruction are breaking the law and all can be prosecuted.

The Maestro says...
12:16am Fri 7 Dec 12

Next time you ask one of them to move and they refuse remind them that 'their' god tells them to do unto others as you expect them to do to you, failing this if they park across your drive with your car on it call the police and report it as an uneccessary obstruction and you don't know who the owner is (don't say they are in the church) the police can have the car towed away, an expensive lesson but one they won't repeat again

Boomhower says...
10:03am Fri 7 Dec 12

'Lymm Resident makes it clear she is not a fan of church goers'
Just make your point about not being happy with the parking instead of making a big thing of other peoples beliefs......unless you really do think they are superior and better than you in which case I apologise.

Nick Tessla says...
11:00am Fri 7 Dec 12

Perhaps having a word with the Church's minister may help.

old-codger says...
12:23pm Fri 7 Dec 12

Maybe if you wait until they have all parked up and gone to church, You can then park in such a way that they cant get out again, When the police come just move your car, A couple of sundays like this and they will soon find another area to inconvenience..

Melonfish says...
1:59pm Fri 7 Dec 12

I'd say there are lots of idea's about deterring them but before you do any of the above suggested, may i suggest you write/print out some polite notes letting the parishioners know that they are blocking in the residents.
if this meets with no change THEN feel free to go mental ;)

Cheap Mower says...
3:38pm Fri 7 Dec 12

stick a sign on your gate saying yor worship the devil

comedymeister says...
3:59pm Fri 7 Dec 12

Paul, you need to get your neighbours together and club in for these...

http://www.allpark.c
o.uk/traffic-cones.h
tml

My son plays football and when we go to Appleton the neighbours put these out. Problem SOLVED. Hope you get it sorted.

the dr who says...
9:52am Sat 8 Dec 12

comedymeister wrote:
Paul, you need to get your neighbours together and club in for these...

http://www.allpark.c

o.uk/traffic-cones.h

tml

My son plays football and when we go to Appleton the neighbours put these out. Problem SOLVED. Hope you get it sorted.
i think you will find that it makes no differance in price of your insurance if its parked in a garage or on a drive or out of it,

i called my insurance and told them i am now putting my car in a garage and they said it wont lower your premium, so i told them to leave it as it was then as i will then decide if i put it away or not.

thats what they told me besides that i doubt they could prove you had just taken it out to go out at any time of the day or night.

the dr who says...
9:56am Sat 8 Dec 12

comedymeister wrote:
Paul, you need to get your neighbours together and club in for these...

http://www.allpark.c

o.uk/traffic-cones.h

tml

My son plays football and when we go to Appleton the neighbours put these out. Problem SOLVED. Hope you get it sorted.
another great comment from people who think they own the world because they have a bit of money,

if you put anything in the highway you become responsible for any damage or injury you cause, you need to have a permit from Warrington BC highways to install traffic cones. you also then need to put road signs out to warn of the obstruction IE the cones.

i would drive over them if i wanted to park there they mean nothing to anyone only you

comedymeister says...
11:39am Sat 8 Dec 12

the dr who wrote:
comedymeister wrote:
Paul, you need to get your neighbours together and club in for these...

http://www.allpark.c


o.uk/traffic-cones.h


tml

My son plays football and when we go to Appleton the neighbours put these out. Problem SOLVED. Hope you get it sorted.
another great comment from people who think they own the world because they have a bit of money,

if you put anything in the highway you become responsible for any damage or injury you cause, you need to have a permit from Warrington BC highways to install traffic cones. you also then need to put road signs out to warn of the obstruction IE the cones.

i would drive over them if i wanted to park there they mean nothing to anyone only you
Are you actually wearing one, wait, no, it's a dunce cap!

SickAndTired2 says...
6:09pm Sat 8 Dec 12

the dr who wrote:
comedymeister wrote:
Paul, you need to get your neighbours together and club in for these...

http://www.allpark.c


o.uk/traffic-cones.h


tml

My son plays football and when we go to Appleton the neighbours put these out. Problem SOLVED. Hope you get it sorted.
another great comment from people who think they own the world because they have a bit of money,

if you put anything in the highway you become responsible for any damage or injury you cause, you need to have a permit from Warrington BC highways to install traffic cones. you also then need to put road signs out to warn of the obstruction IE the cones.

i would drive over them if i wanted to park there they mean nothing to anyone only you
And that just typifies the selfish, arrogant attitude of self important people like you that have spread like a disease in this town.

Sameoldsameold says...
6:24pm Sat 8 Dec 12

We are all gods children, Amen

the dr who says...
6:50pm Sat 8 Dec 12

SickAndTired2 wrote:
the dr who wrote:
comedymeister wrote:
Paul, you need to get your neighbours together and club in for these...

http://www.allpark.c



o.uk/traffic-cones.h



tml

My son plays football and when we go to Appleton the neighbours put these out. Problem SOLVED. Hope you get it sorted.
another great comment from people who think they own the world because they have a bit of money,

if you put anything in the highway you become responsible for any damage or injury you cause, you need to have a permit from Warrington BC highways to install traffic cones. you also then need to put road signs out to warn of the obstruction IE the cones.

i would drive over them if i wanted to park there they mean nothing to anyone only you
And that just typifies the selfish, arrogant attitude of self important people like you that have spread like a disease in this town.
your right i agree its selfish to try and stop people parking on the highway i am glad you told them saves me doing it

comedymeister says...
6:55pm Sat 8 Dec 12

Let's all park outside your house preventing you from access to or from your property.

There are 3 options here people..
1. Put up
2. Shut up
3. Get it sorted!

the dr who says...
6:59pm Sat 8 Dec 12

IF YOU WANT TO PARK NEAR MY HOUSE IT WILL TAKE YOU ABOUT AN HOUR TO GET HOME BUT YOUR MORE THAN WELCOME,

comedymeister says...
7:01pm Sat 8 Dec 12

Get my missus to pick me up in the spare one!

the dr who says...
7:23pm Sat 8 Dec 12

BUT WHERE WILL SHE PARK WHEN SHE GETS BACK.

JoeyLad says...
6:11am Sun 9 Dec 12

God bless you all!

comedymeister says...
10:57am Sun 9 Dec 12

the dr who wrote:
BUT WHERE WILL SHE PARK WHEN SHE GETS BACK.
Go do some self treatment Dr!

the dr who says...
11:32am Sun 9 Dec 12

i am glad you know its time to give up

comedymeister says...
11:34am Sun 9 Dec 12

You've done your self treatment I see, you've stopped shouting. Good Lad.

the dr who says...
11:39am Sun 9 Dec 12

shouting never have !!

as a church goer i always turn the other cheek

comedymeister says...
11:44am Sun 9 Dec 12

I was in church the other day and in the middle of a prayer the lady next to me lit up a fag! I was so shocked I nearly dropped my pint.

The Maestro says...
9:20pm Sun 9 Dec 12

pray for a solution he who seeks shall find

the dr who says...
10:12pm Sun 9 Dec 12

choperado wrote:
All put your bins out or chuck dog poo on the windscreens and the stench on the way home will remind them of their selfish misdeeds.
Maybe check the Tyre depth and call the cops as necessary, it's your public duty. It may save a life!
Ah criminal damage, thats a good idea damage a car and then call the police thats great thinking, i dont know what car you drive but dog **** on the outside of a car wont smell inside.

old-codger says...
10:14pm Sun 9 Dec 12

I like the dog poo idea, It doesnt damage any vehicles and it reeks of revenge...

the dr who says...
10:16pm Sun 9 Dec 12

so if someone throws dog **** all over your front windows at home you dont see it as criminal damage? i think you will find it is.

old-codger says...
10:20pm Sun 9 Dec 12

We are disgusing car,s I think, Inconsiderate parking is the subject, Some of us are making light of the subject and its not to be taken seriously, The Lord will provide for these Churchgoers so not to worry..

old-codger says...
10:35pm Sun 9 Dec 12

SHOUTING in internet terms is the use of capital letters, I dont think he was being rude or anything. The police wont do anything about sunday parking as they dont consider it a priority. If you put your bin on the highway they will be there in two minutes and do you for obstruction.. Parking is a problem all round, I,ve been to this church and you can park all down one side of the road, Maybe the vicar can have a word with them about doing unto others etc etc etc..

comedymeister says...
10:59pm Sun 9 Dec 12

I'm not saying it's cold outside, but I've just tripped over some dog s**t.

Old Lob says...
12:28pm Mon 10 Dec 12

Paul has made a very eloquent point and I would point out to Boomhower that Paul’s comments are addressed to the ignorant parkers its just that the ignorant parkers just happen to be churchgoers so this is not a case of Christian bashing but a simple and very witty commentary on today’s couldn’t care less society.

I have no such misgivings and I am happy to shout SHAME ON THE BAPTISTS for being so thoughtless.

I would love to hear Paul’s comments on other local matters as I would bet that they are just as insightful and far better than the bland commentary that we get from the local press these days.

the dr who says...
5:48pm Mon 10 Dec 12

old-codger wrote:
We are disgusing car,s I think, Inconsiderate parking is the subject, Some of us are making light of the subject and its not to be taken seriously, The Lord will provide for these Churchgoers so not to worry..
and your one who is also making comments that are not really related to the problem, like you like the dog poo idea.

old-codger says...
10:14pm Sun 9 Dec 12

I like the dog poo idea, It doesnt damage any vehicles and it reeks of revenge...”

had you forgot your comments

runway says...
6:30pm Mon 10 Dec 12

http://epetitions.di
rect.gov.uk/petition
s/34271

not started by me but worth supporting i think

runway says...
6:31pm Mon 10 Dec 12

http://epetitions.di
rect.gov.uk/petition
s/34271

not started by me but worth supporting i think

old-codger says...
9:11pm Mon 10 Dec 12

I havnt forgot anything, We are talking about cars and inconsiderate parking, Someone else mentioned dog poo, I said and I quote

I like the dog poo idea, It doesnt damage any vehicles and it reeks of revenge...

I also said and I quote


Some of us are making light of the subject and its not to be taken seriously, The Lord will provide for these Churchgoers so not to worry..”

You need to lighten up before you have a stroke,,
Doctors orders..

old-codger says...
9:39pm Mon 10 Dec 12

Some of us are making light of the subject and its not to be taken seriously,

dog poo -- reeks,


I'm not saying it's cold outside, but I've just tripped over some dog s**t.”,

as a church goer i always turn the other cheek,

People making light of it..
Inc you,

Old Lob says...
8:15am Tue 11 Dec 12

A few people are loosing sight of Paul’s original comments and turning this thread into a tit for tat argument. To bring this discussion back to topic I wonder how many other people suffer from ignorant car parking, for example I know that Lymm suffers from daily parking problems on Brookfield Road and that the local council or politicians don’t seem to be bothered about the chaos this causes.
I was stuck there for 10 minutes yesterday when a wagon couldn’t get through and I only wish that I had Paul’s gift with words so that I could write some cutting comments about our so called caring civic leaders who are more interested in making money from the existing car parks rather than sort out the parking problem.

the dr who says...
8:31am Tue 11 Dec 12

Old Lob wrote:
A few people are loosing sight of Paul’s original comments and turning this thread into a tit for tat argument. To bring this discussion back to topic I wonder how many other people suffer from ignorant car parking, for example I know that Lymm suffers from daily parking problems on Brookfield Road and that the local council or politicians don’t seem to be bothered about the chaos this causes.
I was stuck there for 10 minutes yesterday when a wagon couldn’t get through and I only wish that I had Paul’s gift with words so that I could write some cutting comments about our so called caring civic leaders who are more interested in making money from the existing car parks rather than sort out the parking problem.
runway, you have at least cleared up that it is not against the law and that although a real pain in the backside, calling the police would make no differance. no laws have been broken so polititions cant do anything
but the petition only has 24 signers so it doesnt have much of a chance.

CHADWICK says...
11:17am Tue 11 Dec 12

Why not ask the council to paint some white lines on the road, like they have done to stop you parking in many other residential areas near the hospital & HJ stadium for example.

choperado says...
1:31pm Wed 12 Dec 12

Dog poo all the way! The stench would waft through the vents at the bottom of the windscreen Mr know all. Unless someone sees you, very difficult to prove even if they DNA tested all.. the dogs in the area. Bins in the road would not draw the police out, think about the response times whenever you have needed them.

Wellshot says...
1:39pm Wed 12 Dec 12

This really has to be the most ignorant town i've come across - small minded, inciteful residents, who think that they are right and everyone else is wrong. I don't suppose anyone thought to ask the vicar to help find a solution? Seems more reasonable than spreading disease.

Wellshot says...
1:50pm Wed 12 Dec 12

I did find the letter to be written really well though!

old-codger says...
4:06pm Wed 12 Dec 12

A few people mentioned speaking to the vicar, But he will be worried his congregation will dwindle if the cant park their cars. Some sunday drivers only use the car to got to church..

the dr who says...
6:24pm Wed 12 Dec 12

choperado wrote:
Dog poo all the way! The stench would waft through the vents at the bottom of the windscreen Mr know all. Unless someone sees you, very difficult to prove even if they DNA tested all.. the dogs in the area. Bins in the road would not draw the police out, think about the response times whenever you have needed them.
I don't know what kind of dump you drive but when I put my re circulation on nothing gets that's the idea of it,
And I work with cars so I do know enough it appears you don't. perhaps yours is full of rust so it gets in.

But are people willing to take the chance someone wont see them most people wont take that chance.

choperado says...
10:50pm Wed 12 Dec 12

Dr poo, sorry, who. Most people wouldn't think to put recirc on immediately so would get a scent in the first instance. Those that may be as smartass as you may not but still have the indignity of mess on the car.
Don't take it so seriously and be such a snob, my car's Hunky Dory the only rust round here is on my Sheriffs Badge!

Old Lob says...
7:34am Thu 13 Dec 12

What started off as a well written view on our local parking problems has been reduced to a slanging match about slinging dogpoo. This is a sad commentry on our ability to hold a meaningful discussion without resorting to childish language.
Shame on those who think throwing dogpoo is a suitable retort to ignorant parking.

choperado says...
10:47am Thu 13 Dec 12

Sorry Mr old lob, how may I repent? I bow to your superior intellect and moderation, pray do tell us your solution to this parking conundrum.
I hope it is as much fun as the genius idea about dog poo!

Old Lob says...
11:44am Sat 15 Dec 12

A simple way to solve the problem of parking on The Crescent that doesnt resort to dogpoo, leaving bins in the road, yellow lines or flame throwers is for the churchgoers to only park on one side of The Crescent and avoid blocking in residents cars and driveways.
I am sure that the residents wont mind the extra cars if the parking is done thoughtfully and with a little respect for the problems that might be created for locals.

How easy would that be?

But I will wager that it won't happen as people these days just dont care about their fellow man.

SAC_in_Warrington says...
2:01pm Thu 27 Dec 12

Is the duration of the parking only about 2 hours? Surely that is not long, and as originally stated only on a Sunday! However I would suggest some form of mediation between the Crescent residents and the Church Minister and Elders of the Baptist Church.

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