THERE'S nothing like an international competition to spark patriotism, and this weekend sees Euro 2004 kick off.

Following on from the Eurovision scandal, it will be nice to show that we can battle it out with the best.

And with a variety of football-based shows lined up, it's going to be a tough time screen-wise if you're not interested.

Best piece of news is that Frank Skinner and David Baddiel are bringing back Fantasy Football (ITV, Friday, 10pm-10.30pm). Hooray! At last, something decent being resurrected. (How about Bullseye?)

There's also a Big Impression special (BBC1, tonight, 8pm-8.30pm), with Alistair McGowan and Ronni Ancona transforming into football celebrities such as Sven and Nancy, Posh and Becks, Claudio Ranieri, Rio Ferdinand, Peter Schmeichel and Owen Hargreaves.

The first match is on Saturday (BBC1, Match of the Day Live, 4.30pm-7.10pm) when Portugal and Greece fight it out on the football pitch. Luis Figo and Manchester United star Ronaldo are among Portugal's stars, don't know any Greeks.

One not to miss is England's first appearance on Sunday (ITV, Euro 2004, 7.15pm-10pm) when they come head to head with France - to watch David Beckham if nothing else!

There's a variety of football-related fun hitting the telly over the weekend, including The 100 Greatest World Cup Moments (Channel Four, Saturday, 9.30pm-12.35pm), featuring moments such as the 1966 England win and the famous Hand of God debacle in 1986.

But if you'd rather come face to face with a badger with a grudge than have anything to do with football, there's plenty more to keep you entertained.

Kylie fans are in for a treat tonight. Kylie's Greatest Hits (Five, 8pm-9pm) gives a run down of the Aussie babe's top 10 hits (hope Especially For You makes it), while Kylie Up Close (Five, 9pm-10pm) charts the rise of the petite superstar.

Meanwhile reality TV freaks are enjoying Big Brother (and that's just the housemates). Yes I watched them go in, but haven't tuned in since.

However, impressive quote of the opening night had to come from Shell, who said: "I just fancy doing nothing for 10 weeks and getting paid for it." Tell it like it is wench!

I'm not bothered about BB. Honestly.