THE Assassination of Jesse James should be renamed 'The Ass-kissing of Brad Pitt'.

And the By the Coward Robert Ford' bit of the title should be dropped for no other reason than the actor who plays Ford, Casey Affleck, is every bit as annoying as his older, more famous brother.

Two things hinted at how dull and ponderous this film was going to be: its 10-word title and the fact it was Oscar-nominated'.

But wave a western in front of a man's nose and he's going to try and watch it, and try' I did.

The problem is that it's produced by Brad Pitt and directed by someone who appears to be his number one fan.

Pitt plays Jesse James, the infamous leader of a prolific train-robbing gang in 1880s America, and Affleck, the young man who wants to be like him. So far, so decent.

But the plot moves forward not so much like a steam train but a lame horse and is interrupted by annoying, scene-setting diary entries by the narrator, complete with soft focus camera work that made me wonder if my eyelids were already drooping or if someone was just being arty.

The cameraman seems caught in two minds between wanting to film the desolate wintry beauty of the American West and wanting to film Pitt standing silhouetted in the path of a train (why?), sitting in a tin bath being admired by Affleck's Ford, or rocking menacingly in a chair.

The character-development of the other gang members is sacrificed at the altar of Brad, except for one, the lustful and not inappropriately-named Dick Liddl (played by Paul Schneider) who adds humour to the film's otherwise drab tone by wooing the young wife of a pal's aging father in an outdoor toilet.

Overall, this film is not so much a six-gun salute to the last days of America's most famous outlaw but one that you know the ending of already, and where everything in between fires blanks.