YOU know, life would be much simpler if people just worked their three score years and 10, hung around for the gold watch then shuffled off this mortal coil.

Or at least that’s the subliminal message emanating from the latest grand plan to reconfigure the NHS and social care.

Podium loves to exaggerate for comic effect, as it takes the edge off the crushing mundanity of post-Brexit life. But the finger-wagging classes are seemingly hellbent on us not falling sick, growing old or a hideous combination of the both.

This impending sense of dread was captured in a Guardian report on Cheshire and Merseyside’s ‘sustainability and transformation plan’ this week.

This may be para-phrasing but either Warrington, Southport or Knowsley might end up with a second-rate A&E department, Macclesfield could be downgraded to a 50s-style cottage hospital and The Countess of Chester Hospital was forced to print a statement denying it’s closing.

(Oh it all seems such a long way from the extra £350 million a week the NHS was going to reap when those nasty Eurocrats had their garlic-stained knuckles rapped, eh?) Let your correspondent cut through the waffle – it’s essentially another high-powered exercise in reminding us how our capitalist free-for-all has foundered once again.

You’re all stubbornly living too long and – despite the fact you need to be a communications ninja to secure a GP appointment if you work – you insist on bothering our medical fraternity far too often with your petty aches and sprains.

I’m not blind to the arguments over slashing an inflated medication bill here and there, or knocking needless therapies or fripperies such as tattoo removal or breast enlargement on the head.

And the question of how we pay for nursing and residential care for an ageing population is probably the largest challenge facing the nation today. (Clue – a two per cent ring-fenced contribution to the financial headache via council tax is barely going to scratch the surface).

But our NHS leaders need to modify their tone slightly and play the honesty card. Admit it’s mystifying why a first-world country is heading to the knacker’s yard, while rallying everyone and persuading the great unwashed that they must weigh in and do their bit.

Why has the plan for Cheshire and Merseyside taken so long to finetune, given this week’s publication of other similar north west proposals?

I’ll confess though, around two decades after North Cheshire went down to a single casualty ward, the thought of that remaining A&E going part-time or half-cocked makes me shudder.

  •  You would be hard pushed without a decent map or sat nav, to find the Children’s Adventure Farm Trust at Millington.

I know, as I’ve been down there twice to write features for various Newsquest publications, and to this day I’m unsure whether it falls officially within the province of Warrington or Macclesfield.

Or even Altrincham.

Sadly though, this hidden gem wasn’t secluded enough to deter moronic thieves from ripping out their signage this week, leaving them a few hundred quid out of pocket.

An idyll which gives great days out to children with special needs and deserves every last penny from its benefactors.

Makes your heart sick.

If any trader or craftsman out there in Guardian Land wants to chip in with some free replacements, I’ll guarantee them a hefty plug in this corner of the paper next week.

And just to get any would-be Samaritan started, they can be reached on 01565 830053 or go online to caft.co.uk to find out more.