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EASTENDERS
AS if having Dirty Den for a husband isn't bad enough, Chrissie managed to attract the attentions of another loser, in the form of slimy Scot Tommy.
Den (quite rightly) had Tommy down as a cradle-snatching love rat - this coming from a man who fathered his daughter's best friend's baby.
Tommy, meanwhile, seemed amused by Den in that annoyingly superior intellectual way that only soap lecturers can adopt - though it's hard not to mock a man who is supposed to be one of Walford's most dangerous yet spends the afternoon wandering the streets armed with a tacky straw donkey and a large sausage.
Meanwhile, despite all Dennis and Sharon's proclamations of true love, lucky Zoe has won the latest battle in the war for his affections.
And pouting Sharon could have a major problem on her hands if rumours that Zoe becomes pregnant are true.
Also coming up, it's goodbye to Paul, who is shot at Christmas in a gangland execution apparently - or could it just be Janine?
EMMERDALE
I'M a great lover of my bed, but if the only face I got to see every day was Steph's I too would go crazy.
Her campaign to get rid of Alan was thankfully brought to an end, and it finally looks like Emmerdale's answer to Kathy Bates may get her comeuppance.
Talking of villains, Chloe (the girl who prefers smarmy middle-aged men to half-decent 30-year-olds), identifies her next victim as Katie. Well, she can't have some other slapper walking into work and stealing her gold star can she?
And no sooner has Sadie embarked on her affair with Robert than the secret is out - but who discovers the rendezvous?
Home and Away
DEVIL child Duncan goes one step further in his quest for destruction when he drives a car over a cliff.
This doesn't surprise me. It has always been clear that if you swept back Duncan's furry mane, the figures 666 would be found stamped into his head.
Neighbours
OOH, that pesky Izzy. As Karl and Susan re-discover their bond, his younger woman starts to get jealous ... and fakes pains in her tummy to win him over.
And there could be a lesbian fling in the making between two characters ...
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