NOT content with flooding the Saturday night schedule with shows designed to test the intelligence of the human species, the BBC has now turned its attention to our animal friends.

In 'Test Your Pet' (BBC1) the format was stretched out to an hour of airtime with a repetitious script that suggested the programme makers thought the viewers' attention span was less than that of a goldfish.

They tried to disprove that myth with a test that was supposed to show fish remembering that a green light at the end of their tank indicated where food would be provided, but I wasn't impressed. When the green light came on, more fish appeared to swim away from it than swam towards it. But that's fish for you - no sense of direction!

The amiable Rolf Harris hosted the show, with the simpering Kate Humble as his co-presenter. She spent most of the time asserting that her rat would prove to be the most intelligent pet, while Rolf was banking on his poodle to triumph.

Dogs seemed to receive the best promotion in the first programme in this series, as they were featured showing off different skills, such as jumping through hoops and walking to heel.

Whether being easy to train denotes true intelligence is a matter for debate. As a 'cat' person, I prefer to think the average feline - with its refusal to be turned into a trick-performing talking point - has far more brains than its canine counterpart.

At the end of the day, however, a pet does not need to be the animal equivalent of Einstein to be loved and treasured, so subjecting them to this type of competitive 'circus' is neither enlightening nor entertaining.

Continuing the animal theme, two of soap's best bitches received their comeuppance this week.

'Mother from Hell' Cilla, who even resembles a pugnacious pug, was shown the door by Les Battersby in Corrie. The gullible loser had finally taken on board the fact that she had been two-timing him with 'Uncle Ronnie'.

Wicked to the end, she drove off in a taxi, leaving behind her little son Chesney. He is growing more like a fairy tale waif every week, especially now that he has Schmeichel the Great Dane pup in tow. Even Rita, who had previously been subjected to an ordeal after she caught the youngster stealing sweets in her shop, turned into a kindly grandmother figure, when she found him waiting for a bus 'to London'.

Rumour has it that Les will take in the homeless lad, although that might prompt the start of another 'topical issue' storyline that he might want to avoid, after the 'gay liaison with Kirk' fiasco!

Over in Walford, Evil Janine started the week happily putting the house and business on the market, booking a holiday and clearing out Barry's stuff - and ended it accused of a murder she did not commit.

After whining Laura fell down the stairs to her death with no-one but little Bobby within hearing distance, Porky Pat saw the opportunity to 'frame' Janine by refusing to give her an alibi.

Fortunately, there is no chance of Laura coming back to annoy us in the future, but a villainess as superb as Janine must surely be allowed to return at some point, consumed by the need to seek revenge on Pat. Will we see the earrings shaking uncontrollably, as the older Mrs Evans considers that possibility?