MOST of the housemates who enter the Big Brother house are hoping for fame and fortune to follow their eviction. We've had TV presenters, failed popstars and general 'it' types who'll turn up for the opening of an envelope. Until now though, we've never had a stand-up comedian.

With Dennis using every waking minute as an audition for musical 'Hairspray', Mikey decided to get in on the action and finally reveal his comedic "talents" to an unsuspecting house and the public.

What followed can only be described as what would happen if Roy 'Chubby' Brown was blind. With jokes that covered disability, beastiality and sexual content Mikey managed to stun, amuse and appall the other housemates. Their reactions were priceless. Dale looked as though he'd just found out that Jennifer was married with a child...oh, she is.

Not content with one husband and one love sick puppy (Dale), Jennifer has decided that girly boy Stuart has been sent in just for her...because he has eyelashes. So now she must flirt and stir so that she can successfully have both Dale and Stewart hanging on her every word. Her plan also involves making Sylvia look like a fool so that she can revel in the fact that Stuart fancies her and not poor bunny boiler Sylvia.

Sylvia seeems to have played out half of her Big Brother experience in her head as she seemed convinced that she had cheated on her boyfriend with Stuart. In the space of two days she appears to have fallen in love, had a relationship and been dumped, all without Stuart even noticing.

I wonder if the screen is affecting Stuart's powers as for a man that can reduce a woman to tears with his beauty I'm not very impressed.

I can't help but wonder that if Sylvia was the one with the potential love interest she would be attracting ex-viewer Stuart's attention. Has he made a clever bid to stay in by entangling himself in the juiciest romance story straight away?

But for now poor Sylvia is left mourning the relationship that never was.

Maybe Mikey could crack a few jokes to cheer her up...