The conversation around banning social media for young people seems to be growing louder every week.
As a parent, I completely understand why.
We hear stories about online bullying, unrealistic beauty standards, harmful content and the pressure many young people feel to constantly compare themselves to others.
There is no doubt that social media can have a negative impact when it becomes a young person's whole world.
But as I've listened to the debate, I keep finding myself asking a different question.
Are we trying to ban the problem, or are we mourning something we've already lost?
When my grandma passed away, I spent time looking through old family photographs.
One picture in particular stayed with me. There she was at thirteen years, standing proudly in a local carnival.
She was wearing a simple dress, holding flowers, smiling innocently as she walked on by.
No filters. No phone. No pressure to create content. No perfectly curated online image.
Just a young girl enjoying being young.
Looking at that photograph made me think about how much has changed in just a few generations.
My grandma's generation grew up quickly in many ways.
By thirteen, many children were helping with shopping, cooking, running errands and supporting their families.
They had responsibilities, but they also seemed to have a clearer sense of who they were because they weren't constantly comparing themselves to thousands of strangers every day.
Then came my mum's generation. Long summers outdoors, community, youth groups and friendships built face to face.
There was still freedom to be young. Then came my generation. We saw technology arrive.
I spent hours talking to friends on MSN Messenger after school, but I also spent evenings in local parks, meeting friends and making memories outdoors.
Looking back, we had a balance. We experienced both worlds. Today, I worry that many young people are losing that balance.
Youth clubs have closed. Families aren’t visiting like they used to. Parks don't always feel like the safe places they once were.
Many of the spaces where young people naturally gathered and built confidence have slowly disappeared.
At the same time, the expectations placed on children seem to have accelerated.
At thirteen, many young people today are navigating social media profiles, online trends, influencers, beauty standards and pressures that simply didn't exist for previous generations.
Children are often trying to appear older while having fewer opportunities to simply enjoy being younger.
But this is where I become conflicted. Because if we remove social media entirely, what replaces it? For many young people, their friendship groups exist online.
Their hobbies exist online. Their communities exist online.
Some even develop creativity, confidence and valuable skills through platforms like YouTube, TikTok and other digital spaces.
Would removing that create safer children, or would it create a different kind of exclusion?
Perhaps the real conversation shouldn't be about banning technology at all.
Perhaps it should be about rebuilding what we've lost alongside it.
More youth clubs. More community. More affordable activities.
More safe places where young people can connect face-to-face and develop real-world confidence.
Because I don't think young people need fewer connections. I think they need more of the right kind.
Technology isn't going away. Social media isn't going away.
The challenge for all of us is helping the next generation learn how to use these tools without allowing the tools to define who they are.
And maybe that starts with giving them something even better to come back to when they put their phones down.
Kirsty Redford is a qualified Master NLP Practitioner, Life Coach, Mindfulness Practitioner and Certified Firewalking Instructor. As founder of Firewalk Events, she helps people build confidence and resilience, inspiring them to find their inner power and reignite their spark.
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