IF YOU don't play the game, you can't win the show.

Warrington's Mario Marconi did his best to get himself kicked out of the BB house this week. Organising a health and safety meeting, moaning at the girls for taking their clothes off (eh?) and generally showing a side of his personality that made him out to be an opinionated bore.

Fortunately for him the public didn't forget how feeble Stephanie's attempts at the secret couple task were, nor her tiresome whinging. She offered no spark, no vitality, and seemed to have very little between her ears. I think I could have made a better attempt at convincing the other housemates I was in love with Mario. You can't make that little effort and expect to get away with it.

As Davina said her name there was a shocked silence. Luke gave her a big hug, Steph cried, and Kathreya predictably joined in. Mario and Lisa did well to hide their delight.

"Be strong, Steph," said Jennifer, but the pig-tailed blonde burst into tears. "I must have really upset them outside" she whimpered. Well you certainly did my head in.

Rex looks gutted. Maybe he had plans to make a move on the impressionable teen, or maybe it's because he's one of the few nice people in there. Either way, it probably wouldn't have helped his chances.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Don't you just love the British public? She's not my cup of tea, but even I feel sorry for a 19-year-old girl met with that reaction.

Still, Big Brother is always a gamble, and the housemates know that when they sign up for the ride.

So who am I kidding? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.