A problem shared is a problem doubled.

Sorry if the ending on this statement seems a bit harsh but I would like to offer you some good advice.

You see, we have a small system within our heads that acts like a radio frequency antenna - we call it the RAS system.

It is this little device that is in full use when we are looking to buy something we need.

For example, if you were excited about buying a new red Mini, you will focus all your thoughts and energy on this particular object, so everywhere you look you will see red Minis.

Another example is pregnant ladies, all they tend to see are other pregnant ladies and prams.

In a nutshell, we just so happen to see whatever we focus our attention on and fail to really notice much else around us.

You may also have heard that if you spend your life worrying about bills and debts, you will only ever get more bills and debts.

It’s not because you have attracted more bills and debts, it’s just that you are fully focussed on bills and debts and actually failing to notice the good things that are going on in other areas of your life.

Sometimes people compare this concept to the law of attraction, but really it’s just plain old brain science.

So now allow me to return to my opening statement.

If you have friends who are having problems or are going through a tough time, remember that from the moment they wake up, their RAS system is in full swing of focussing on exactly what it is that is making them feel low.

They are not able to focus on much else that’s going on around them, and although we like to offer a listening ear at times of need, I ask you to try something a little different.

Give their RAS a much-needed break and give them a problem holiday.

Explain what you are doing and agree to meet up some place nice but refuse to talk about anything problem related, just for that one day.

Plan a picnic while the weather is warm or go for coffee and reminisce about when you first met and take a trip down memory lane.

Take them out for the afternoon, be impulsive and visit somewhere you’ve never been or go shopping and buy them something nice.

Just do whatever you fancy and leave the problem behind temporarily and refuse to think or talk about it even once.

You can be a listening ear and a sympathetic shoulder another time but, just this once, let your friend have an escape from their thoughts.

So with National Friendship Day on August 4, why not bare all this in mind and arrange to take a problem vacation for the day.
Let me know how you get on.

Lynsey McGrath

www.amazing-life.co.uk