HOW do you solve a problem like the BBC's current obsession with reality' TV set to music?

Perhaps by putting the facially challenged Andrew Lloyd Webber centre stage to frighten off the viewers?

The man who has made a fortune out of a series of bland musicals has somehow managed to find himself with a weekly plug on national TV for his forthcoming production of The Sound of Music at the London Palladium.

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? (or M? as the space-saving logo on the set proclaimed) was launched on BBC1 at teatime on Saturday.

Not a good idea when the first show featured frequent shots of Lloyd Webber trying out various expressions of frustration, disquiet and disapproval!

The purpose of M? is to find a new leading lady for the musical, with the help of the viewing public, not Pope Idol but Nun Idol, in effect. And the phone lines are no doubt ready and waiting to rake in the cash from the sad people who usually vote in this type of contest.

We learned during Saturday's show that Lloyd Webber had apparently offered the role to film actress Scarlett Johansson, who declined.

Surprise, surprise!

Now the theatrical lord is looking for a new 'face' - he said it! He believes that the role of Maria has always been cast too old, and that she should be played by someone between the ages of 18 and 21.

He wants someone 'fresh, exciting and original'.

From all the evidence at the auditions, he was actually getting the same old mixture of stage school clones and a few wild and wacky extroverts - stand up, Kirsty, you know who you are!

Kirsty, from Belfast, certainly looked young enough, but the Adam Barlow haircut and the zany manner was enough to make the auditioning panel (producer David Ian, actor-singer John Barrowman and vocal coach Zoe Tyler) send her packing.

Unfortunately, when control freak Lloyd Webber reviewed the tapes of the auditions, he reversed the decisions on a handful of the girls and she was one of them.

Among the contestants going forward to 'Maria School' - purlease! - are a 31-year-old mother of three, Zoe, and a very worrying young lady called Bryony, who just wouldn't give up.

This fresh-faced girl was rejected as too nervous, but returned to audition again, quoting things Maria had said in the musical as though she was her alter ego.

A suitable case for confinement, I think and not in a convent!

Taking the Ant and Dec role in this apfel strudel of a programme is Graham Norton in the latest attempt by the BBC to find him the perfect vehicle.

It's too early yet to say whether this vehicle is in fact a train rushing towards the proverbial crash scenario.

l Sawyer rules, according to our CKTV poll on warrington guardian.co.uk/leisure/tvcolumns/cktv.

Around nine out of every 10 voters so far have opted for the Lost' bad boy's charm, so if you're a supporter of good guy Jack, you need to come to the rescue now.

Alternatively, you could put the boot in even more, if you're a Sawyer fan!