Sainsbury's Invitational Scally Chase

And now I think I've found it . . .

Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, to the Sainsbury's Invitational Scally Chase.

For those in the dark, here are the rules and a basic rundown of the event it's a bit like fox hunting but with subtle variations.

Instead of a cunning vixen you take one young chav, complete with trackie bottoms, hoodie and socks tucked into their Rockports.

Line him or her up outside the Church Street emporium of Mr J Sainsbury, with a freshly-pilfered bag of goodies in their sweaty hands, and wait for the starting gun to go.

Given a two-second head start, the pursuing store assistants are then released from their trap'.

The turn of speed these shop workers can muster, in what appears to be a severely restricting uniform, is a sight to behold.

(Perhaps Messrs Henry Fa'fili and Richie Barnett might wanna take some pointers).

If the chav has planned his escape route well enough then he/she will at least make it to Church Street.

Depending on traffic conditions they are then presented with multiple avenues through the St Elphin's Close estate to safety.

You can't always second guess when the starting times are for this urban sporting spectacle though the closer to giro day, the shorter the odds at enjoying a full-blown chase.

The possibilities are endless here though you can vary the amount of goods shoplifted, the relative athleticism of the shop assistant, how many WBT buses are waiting to mow down the fleeing felon.

Perhaps if the scally made it as far as College Close or St Kathryn's Way then the chase could be automatically called off.

Sadly most of the great urban Warrington sports baiting the drunks outside New Town House, idiots diving into the Mersey at low tide, and walking past the Prince of Wales in shorts are dying out.

Scally chasing is the rollerblading and snowboarding of tomorrow and should be recognised as such.