What a pantomime it has been in the past few weeks, as Corrie and EastEnder storylines flew straight into the Land of Make Believe.

Dirty Den and the Faulty Thieves took to the stage in Walford, with a harem of wailing women awaiting the outcome of the tale of 1,001 nights (at least it seemed that long!).

Den doubled up as Robin Hood, robbing the factory to set Lisa and Lou free of the evil Sheriff of Pilsbury and fund their flight into the night (not on a magic carpet but in the time-honoured Walford cab).

Unfortunately for fall guy Phil, Den was not 'behind him' but scarpering up the escape ladder and hauling it up to leave the moon-faced one well and truly stitched up at the crime scene.

The whole saga was about as believable as any sane woman wearing a pair of glass slippers to a dance!

Over in Corrie, the panto de-camped to Blackpool, as the archetypal Dame herself swept into town with stacked up hair, dangly earrings, more leopardskin than seen in the average safari park and Max Factor's entire 2003 consignment of make-up slapped on to one face. Yes, Bet was back!

In the space of a few days, we were treated to a series of happenings that left you feeling the TV must have been zapping out LSD rays. Bet was courted and almost married to Cedric Newton (of Newton & Ridley's), until he had a heart attack outside the church and finally expired in hospital, as Bet was rambling on about walking barefoot in the sand on a tropical beach with him. Who could blame him?

In the meantime, prisoner on the run Jim McDonald almost escaped to Ireland with wife Liz on Cedric's luxury yacht, so he did - until they just happened to bump into soppy Ashley, silly Clare and mollycoddled baby Josh, who were busy sinking in what looked like a rowing boat out at sea.

Of course, Gentleman Jim had to rescue the hapless trio and return them to Blackpool, whereupon he was arrested, so he was. Ash and Clare celebrated later by giggling over a meal of fish and chips (from the paper).

Meanwhile Bet and Liz set off for Brighton together - did I say anything about ugly sisters?

Next week a genie appears in Emmerdale and grants us three wishes. Don't ask!

BITE-SIZE POP IDOL

Susanne's luck finally ran out, and Chris made a real spectacle of himself on Saturday's Pop Idol (ITV1). Watching Chris on this show is like being embarrassed by your dad's dancing at a family wedding. By no stretch of anyone's imagination is he Pop Idol material, so it would be a kindness to show him the door at the weekend.

MADELEY MADNESS OF THE WEEK

Talking of your dad embarrassing you, Chloe and Jack Madeley must have been even more in favour of changing their surname than usual last Friday. The Richard & Judy Show was celebrating a 70s Christmas, and Mr Madeley didn't let us down - sad wig, shades, dire clothes and platform shoes. Then he did his usual kamikaze routine, and bounced around on a Space Hopper. Alastair McGowan couldn't make it up!