OUR blogger Melanie O'Neill has two children and was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer nearly a decade ago.

Here she shares her latest thoughts on living with cancer.

"Thank you” Darcey, my daughter, said taking my hand and squeezing it tightly.

The program had come to an end as I watched the credits appear on the screen through blurry eyes. I had cried throughout the majority of The Full Monty on Ice only stopping to drool over Ashley Banjo presenting the 2-part show momentarily.

With chosen celebrities courageously stripping on ice to their virtual audience, I thought this would be a laugh to watch and funny to see non-skaters skate, and although I did laugh, I cried so much more.

Every single celebrity had been touched in some way or another by cancer either by having it themselves or watching loved ones being taken by this horrible disease, many at a young age too.

One celebrity described how their dad had chosen to have chemotherapy for the sake of his children and his wife wanting to give his family more time with him even though that meant suffering, he did it for them.

Anyone without cancer would have been touched by their grief filled descriptions of what they went through at the time never mind those that have cancer watching the show who could relate.

I looked at Darcey not asking her what she was thanking me for but wondered if she thought about the intermittent pain that troubles me and who I was doing it for.

After being diagnosed I started chemo and lost my hair feeling flu-like symptoms shortly after my dose. Back then I did it to recover and become cancer free, living a long and happy life which was waiting ahead of me.

After being told I was stage 4 and no longer curable, I continued on many different chemotherapies having faith that something would come to my rescue, trying many holistic and alternative methods, I never gave up.

After the clinical trial affected my eyes considerably, gave me lymphedema in my right arm where I could no longer use my hand and a horrendously painful ulcerated mouth, I was still grateful to have been on it for almost 3 years. It was then that I realised the drugs were buying me time and I was prepared to put up with whatever life threw at me to give my children, husband, mum, dad and close friends more time with me.

The pain in my heart is by far the worst of all knowing I will leave a gaping hole in my children’s lives as confirmed by the celebrities who lost loved ones many years ago and have never gotten over it.

The program was a great advertisement to people concerned about any health issues they may have, to go and get themselves checked telling us how early detection is now a life saver even though for me it wasn’t as I was misdiagnosed by so many professionals in their field for so long that when I was diagnosed it had spread to my lymph.

However, the message is still clear that knowing your own body is key and not to put off seeking professional advice even in this pandemic.

So although I am currently out of pain and my treatment is keeping the cancer at bay, however expensive it is, I am just so grateful to have been given 10 more years than I thought I’d get when hearing the words “you have inflammatory breast cancer”.

I will never get used to it nor stop becoming emotional every single Christmas wondering how many more I have left.

But with every Christmas I am fortunate to experience another and another and another and although tearful I think what’s the point in worrying?

Nobody knows what’s round the corner, good or bad, so grab every second of every day and make it the best. I am just so happy and grateful that I get to be a mum to my girls for a while longer.

So Darcey (you shouldn’t need to notice but you have) that I am doing this for both you and Lois and I love you with all my heart.

And thank you to all my friends, family and people who take the time to read my blogs, watch my vlogs sending me lovely encouraging messages, you all keep me stronger than you realise so thank you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.