LAVISH, it aint! It is a caravan, albeit one of a sizeable nature, in a countryside field. This is the backstage domain of the British institution known as Status Quo.
No sex, no drugs. Just two men and a mountain of mineral water. This is the life that lies at the end of a 40-year career, which, in sizeable chunks, has certainly seen its fair share of good old fashioned excess.
"Not anymore," claims Quo man Francis Rossi.
"I am the most boring man in Surrey. I get up, go to the gym and practice my guitar, go to sleepI could be an accountant."
Well, maybe. But accountants are not often to be found entertaining 30,000 Hells Angels in a field in the Midlands.
"Trueyes, you could say that," agreed Francis as he sat with his beloved Fender Telecaster in hand and showed me the chords to the classic Caroline.
It's a dream moment to some extent, but I don't get it.
I never could grasp the guitar and, if you can't play the Quo', I cheekily remark, you might as well give up.
"Well, we have been playing for 40 years and its still a bit tricky," Francis laughed, although his deft hand slid effortlessly across intricate fills not normally associated with such a band.
But the Quo sound, one of the most infectious and weirdly primal noises in rock's rich tapestry, has always been underrated.
It belongs, not to the critics, but to those who would once wander to the pub in wrapped in Wranglers, smoking Players No 6 and talking about football.
"They were a sad lot, our old fans, weren't they," quipped Francis.
I always wondered where that sound came from. Were Francis Rossi and fellow Quo founder Rick Parfitt huge fans of the blues, swiping and embellishing thing boogie drive from John Lee Hooker or Bo Diddley?
"No, not at all," said Francis.
"We never planned it or studied anything. In fact, it grew out of our sound checks - we were incapable of playing some of the fancy stuff that was going around back in the early 70s. So we kind of just rocked out for the roadies.
"Then we realised that the sound checks were going down an awful lot better than the actual set.
"That is how the Quo boogie was born. An accident. People heard it and started to smile. That has always been precisely what we are about."
This boogie' would subsequently flavour a huge run of hits that spanned the 70s and 80s. The sound would debut in the hit Down the Dustpipe, subsequently surging effortlessly through Paper Plane, Caroline, Down Down and even the John Fogerty penned Rockin' All Over The World, which kick-started the Live Aid Concert. Surely a peak moment?
"Well, maybebut to tell you the truth, we had had a few," said Francis, seemingly unaware that their performance was at 12am.
"I only have hazy memories of that day. We didn't really fit in with that whole pop star thing."
Rick said: "We are not pretending to be normal geezers, that's just what we are."
"I got a bit flash, like with cars and girls and things but just like a kid who gets a bit of cash. We would have no idea how to act like pop stars. It's all nonsense."
Affectation hardly spills from their shoulders, as one might expect. In the flesh at bikers' fest The Bulldog Bash, which is where the interview took place, they cut a curious pair. Rossi smaller, neater than image suggested, hamming it up like an old time music hall act and Parfitt, perhaps, slightly more recognisable as a bona fide rock star.
His torso clasped within a tight shirt, famous blonde hair still gently waiving over his forehead. They form a genuine double-act, bouncing jokes back and forth.
I had always wondered how Status Quo had reacted to punk, back in the mid 70s. In fact, the whole point of punk, to dispense with musicianly self-indulgence and present a pure, simplistic rock n' rollwell, hadn't that been precisely what Quo had been doing all along?
"No. Not at all," said Rick.
"I don't agree. We hated it. I remember going down to The Marquee Club on Wardour Street and seeing them all spitting and jumping up and down. Couldn't relate to it at all."
Francis added: "We didn't get the attitude. Johnny Rotten, being what he was, acting like that. We knew he was a nice bloke underneath all thatit seemed so false to us. Strangely. It didn't have an derogative effect on us at all."
2007 is a strange place for Quo to end up. A new album, which I had presumed might form the basis of this interview, arrives with the lovely self-depreciating title, In Search of the Fourth Chord.
Somewhat to my surprise, it is an excellent, diverse if slightly uneven collection of songs written by the pair, ranging from the signature boogie of The End Or The Beginning (you can hear it by mention of the title alone) to moments of autobiographical reflection (Electric Arena), urban blues and a beautiful lilting pop melody(Tongue Tied). Not bad for a couple of owd uns?
"I don't know if it is good or not but we will not be performing any of these songs," said Francis.
"Even if there are one or two hitswell, possibly but that isn't what matters any more, is it? Even a hit record is no big deal in 2007."
Quo write as they have always written. That is separately. In isolation. Only pulling songs together at the last minute. I wondered why.
"I don't know, but that has always been the case," said Rick.
"We have never sat down and bashed tunes out together. Francis will bring a song to me or vice versa and we take it from there. Like most of the things about Status Quo, it's usually totally unplanned. It just happens."
Francis said: "We don't tour the album or anything like that. If people like the album, that's fine. If notthat's also fine."
Rick added: "To be honest I can't listen to it at the moment anyway. It has to go away and maybe come back to us later. I've lost objectivity. I think the songs are strong but whether they are good enough to get into our set, remains to be seen.
Later in the day, surrounded by Hells Angels, I am down in the mud. Fighting hard to prevent my leg from moving. It's a losing battle. The infectious boogie sounds curiously eerie in the open countryside. I fear I see myself breaking into an ungainly dance. Other men, bigger, cooler, more openly threatening than I, are similarly affected. You just can't fight it. Downdowndeeper and down!
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