OUR blogger Melanie O'Neill has two children and was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer more than eight years ago.

Here she shares her latest thoughts on living with cancer.

I came home from my holiday on Thursday 22nd August and the following day my oncologist who is in charge of my trial, wanted to see me.

As I was forewarned about this appointment at my previous one, the nerves and dread began immediately prompting me to unload my fears in my last blog, writing it whilst I was still at the hospital waiting for a heart scan a few weeks ago.

That evening I was invited to a Reiki share which I had never been to before but I’d had reiki tons of times with lots of different people and never felt any different only really relaxed after lying flat on my back for ½ an hour or more.

I was so upset that day I thought by accompanying the girl that had invited me through reading one of my previous blogs, it may help to take my mind off things so off I went unaware of what was about to happen.

The people there were lovely, warm and welcoming as I entered the terraced house in Liverpool decorated with Buddhas and angels and other peaceful pictures and ornaments.

After introducing ourselves one by one followed by a short meditation I was paired up with a man willing to do some reiki on me.

After about ½ an hour of healing we all finished and spoke about what we felt.

I felt nothing. No flashing lights, no images appeared, no tingling affects nothing, exactly the same as every other time I’d had it.

I thanked him after telling him how relaxed I felt but how no other feelings occurred and he told me my biggest thing I lacked was self-belief and I had to start believing in myself and how my body can heal if I only believed that it could.

We parted ways with him telling me to buy myself a dog to help take my mind off things and the healing effects of owning a pet can have.

I was excited to tell him how I am dog sitting after my holiday and how I couldn’t wait.

So the next day I awoke feeling a huge sense of calmness along with excitement for my holiday becoming aware that nothing regarding my future or the conversation with the doctor the day before was coming into my mind.

The following day whilst waiting for the airport taxi our fridge began to leak water.

My husband Carl began to curse and fume as I stayed unusually calm and continued to do so throughout my entire holiday, loving every minute.

I could only give reiki credit for this and how unbelievably grateful I was that Vicky had read my blog, that she’d invited me along that night, that a reiki master had chosen me to give energy healing to and that a remarkable shift had happened that evening lasting throughout my holiday.

On my return a little anxiety crept in about the following days appointment but I wasn’t sure why as I had consciously decided to come off the trial as my ulcers on my tongue had begun to hurt more than they’d ever done before with searing pain and my arm had become extremely swollen.

Knowing the cancer is on the move again and my body can no longer accompany the toxicity, it was time for a rest.

The following day I witnessed sad faces and tilted heads from the nurses and doctor and words from family expressing their sadness in the decision made.

However the doctor had told me exactly what I wanted to hear as I can no longer tolerate this excruciating pain my mouth.

The only thing she didn’t tell me was that there is definitely something in the future for me to try after my body has taken time to recover.

So at present there is nothing else for me to try.

Happy that this decision had been made for me, I didn’t get the option to choose whether I wanted to come off the trial or not.

I breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn’t about to make the wrong choice that could cost me my life.

That same day, I was looking forward to looking after my friend Sarah’s dog that much that I barely gave the decision making a second thought.

The loveable pooch has totally taken my mind off thinking about myself and worrying about the future.

I have thoroughly enjoyed looking after him taking him on many massive walks (my Fitbit has never seen so much action achieving over 10,000 steps a day since I got him) meeting many other dog owners on my walks and asking for training advice and other doggie info as if he were my own.

I have also been offered further reiki which I will snap their hands off for as never before have I felt so different. It’s as if someone has cast a spell on me!

I haven’t felt this calm in a long time and although my future is left with a huge question mark over it I refuse to be drawn in by the worries of what may be instead I am choosing to embrace this peacefulness I am currently feeling and enjoy every second of the present helped along by reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle as my holiday read.

Transfixed by this book, I could barely put it down understanding much more fully how Now is all anybody has and how we must embrace every second and enjoy every moment as much as we can.

Without thinking of the future too much I also have a quiet confidence that there is something waiting for me around the next corner as there always has been before.

My luck hasn’t run out yet I hope?

I want to keep believing there is something waiting for me whatever that maybe, if only so I can wake up every morning with hope in my heart and look into my kid’s eyes without crying.

So with that said I am off to buy a pooch as soon as I can get Carl’s approval as he’s adamant he does not want to become a dog owner.

Maybe after Alfie goes back to his rightful owner he may miss him and reconsider. Here’s hoping.