MONTY the Penguin - if there was ever a symbol of the moral bankruptcy of England 2015 then this plush toy takes the gold ring.

Even in my darkest hours I've always resisted the hideous dictum that we're all Thatcher's Children, simply empty vessels waiting to be filled and nourished with the folding stuff.

Believe me this was just as difficult with 13 years of New Labour, the most anaemic rose-white brand of City-fearing, light-touch regulating pseudo-socialism these shores have ever witnessed.

But is the backdraft from this awful concept that one of the televisual highlights of the modern age is how some upmarket Woolies chooses to hawk its overpriced wares to the drooling masses?

You really would have thought, given the critical reaction, that someone had reanimated Orson Welles, and instead of commanding him to top Citizen Kane, his orders were to craft two-and-a-half minutes of sheer whimsy to entice idiots into shelling out £125 on eBay for a stuffed teddy made for a fraction of the cost.

In the name of research, and forcibly against my better judgement, I checked out the department store's 2013 offering, The Bear and The Hare, a Watership Down rip-off with as much charm as the Safestyle UK guy, in anyone's book.

Cards on the table, I didn't go back any further because I know for a fact the 2011 or 2012 effort was the little lad and The Smiths tune Please Please Let Me Get What I Want, which I have a sneaking admiration for.

But Morrissey, queen of contrariness and arch moraliser, still disgracefully gave permission for the track to be used in the first place, so I'm pole-vaulting back up to the sanctimonious high ground.

All deviations aside, this is still lining the pockets of countless undeserving adland types, to the tune of many millions, and causing untold misery to the gullible parents of this land, as they scrabble for the wretched (and ever-rarer) Montys, by whatever means.

Fear not though, because the John Lewis penguin is only an appetiser for the real self-indulgent feast which is the Sainsbury's yuletide epic.

Recreating the famous tale of the 1914 trenches Christmas Day truce, this could surely by relied upon to bring a lump to this hack's throat.

Your correspondent has been out in the field, or barracks, with everyone from reservists and north west army field hospital medics to the Irish Hussars and former Queens Lancs Regiment over the past two decades.

And it has to be acknowledged that their commercial, in the centenary year of the outbreak of World War One, has the ringing endorsement of the Royal British Legion.

Fine and dandy - but it still makes the RBL look like shills for handing over their feted poppy emblem so one of the Big Four supermarkets can flog more turkeys, figgy puddings and bottles of plonk.

If you believe Sainsbury's, Asda, Tesco or Morrison's have everyone's best interests at hearts, seek out a dairy farmer, then we'll chat some more later.

Incidentally the Tesco Christmas ad played it relatively safe, developing the theme of festive lights, rather than adopting grainy footage of besuited gentlemen being led away for questioning by the fraud squad, showing some admirable restraint in the circumstances.

Yet again our retail giants could take a leaf out of the book of their feared rivals Aldi, whose exotic range of frozen meat-stuffs I hope will be lining my cupboards very soon.

Forget the underlit psycho-dramas, designed only to garner its makers clutches of awards from their peers, and deploy a touch of self-deprecating humour.

And that doesn't mean doubling Ant and Dec's gargantuan contracts, or sending out for James Corden either. Roll on Easter.