What a week it’s been! After last week’s discovery that the cancer has not been fully removed and is now in the lymph vessels of my skin, it would appear that I have cried enough tears to fill a small reservoir. I’m known for being a tad impatient and have been getting frustrated with my tears. Why won’t they stop? Not only have I felt more sorry for myself than usual, I have felt even more sorry for every Tom, Dick and Harry who has come into contact with me this past week, head tilted and sad eyes giving me that encouraging shoulder rub, I’ve managed to ball my eyes out on.

Sometimes a seriously awkward moment like on the treadmill in the gym, at the entrance of the gym, in the coffee lounge in the gym. I think everyone at the gym is now fully aware I’ve been having a pretty rotten week! But the sympathy, kindness and understanding just makes me weep. Cancer or no cancer I am THE most emotional person ever and under the circumstances I think I would still be blubbering if it were someone else going through this crumby week.

But now the week is over and I have revisited my homeopath I am feeling a little stronger and the thoughts of dying are slipping further and further to the back of my mind instead of being firmly planted at the front. The ‘What if’s’ have taken a side step and the ‘What I really want to happen’ is moving in. The power of the mind can work wonders, I know, but can it cure cancer? I can only give it a try as I plan the week that follows. Take a look at this and let me know if you’d like to swop?

MONDAY – Wigan Hospital for a minor operation to have a lump removed from my left arm under local anaesthetic.

TUESDAY – Christies Hospital, Manchester, a 2 hour appointment to get tattooed for my up and coming radiotherapy and discussion on the treatment that will follow.

WEDNESDAY – Oldham Hospital where my first session of radiotherapy begins.

THURSDAY A.M. – Christies Hospital, Manchester to see my oncologist and discuss why my chemo has not kept this bugger at bay and if I will have to restart it all over again after the radiotherapy.

THURSDAY PM – Oldham Hospital for radiotherapy FRIDAY - Oldham Hospital for radiotherapy.

Not only will I become a master at visiting different hospitals in the North West, I will be upping the mileage on my car and using tank after tank of petrol. Maybe I should do a questionnaire about the standards and patient care as I would be the ideal client to compare. “Yeah just ask Mel which is the best hospital to visit she’s been to em all!” And all this travelling is because Warrington Hospital missed my diagnosis 3 times. Ha! They’d get nil points for their questionnaire! I will also be juggling children's school runs and activities, bookwork, cleaning and of course the gym. Do you think I’ll have time for that?

No matter what next week throws at me I will cope, no matter what because this week has proven that I can and I have to. Not only for my children’s sake, family and friends but to prove I’m not such a softy after all! I’m strong, I can cope, I can survive, I can beat this and I will. Maybe with a few tears along the way but I WILL!

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