THE wait is over. Mr Grey will see you now.

Fifty Shades of Grey is being released – or unshackled – on DVD and Blu-ray on Monday.

And after resisting the 'temptation' to see the film, about a billionaire businessman with a penchant for S&M, at the cinema I thought it was about time I saw what all the hot fuss was about.

But unfortunately Fifty Shades did not whip me into a frenzy or leave me begging for more.

I was more fascinated by the immaculate condition of Christian Grey's bondage room which left me wondering about the technicalities of managing chains, straps and ropes while keeping the passion going.

Sam Taylor-Johnson's film sees mousy English lit student Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) interview entrepreneur Christian (Jamie Dornan) for her housemate who has the flu.

From this one meeting, in which there is little genuine chemistry between the pair, the audience is expected to believe that an infatuation begins.

You might get a bit bored of Anastasia's heart skipping a beat every time she sees Christian. It is like the same scene being repeated over and over.

And the character whimpering or biting a pencil or her lower lip becomes lazy shorthand for desire while Christian's only tool outside of the bedroom seems to be his eerie intense stare.

Before Anastasia knows it, Christian is waving a dominant and submissive contract at her.

This leads to most humourous scene in the film when the couple go over the particulars of an S&M relationship in a business meeting style set-up.

But when Christian bleats out the likes of: 'If you were mine, you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week' it comes across as something a sex pest might shout at you in the street rather than a seductive come-on.

Creepy does not begin to cover it.

But, of course, Christian is exceedingly rich and has a helicopter so Anastasia gives it a go only to find Christian's limits do not fit her own and his control is not confined to the boudoir.

To be fair to Taylor-Johnson one of the main problems of Fifty Shades appears to be the source material, an erotic novel by E.L. James which somehow captured the steamy imagination of the public.

Despite its racy theme, the story is quite dull with very few twists and layers and absolutely no subplot.

The most interesting thing is Grey's troubled past, which could have offered some genuine drama perhaps with some flashbacks. But this part of the story is barely touched upon.

It has something to say about how intoxicating relationships can be but that's about it.