Have I finally found the right man for me? (From Warrington Guardian)

Have I finally found the right man for me?

I have had a hard childhood and got married at 13. Had my 1st child at 14, lived with an abusive husband. Finally he got deported and that was my ticket to freedom from him.

Later I got involved with a young man I thought was set but was only a sour pie covered with sugar. I learned that when he cheated on me and got involved with dealing drugs.

I literally kicked him out of my home. I was scared. I had 4 kids by this time, one of his, but I thought nothing could be worse than me losing my kids over him.

A couple of months past and I met the man I now live with. We have been together since 1999 but living together since 2000. I just need to know if this is it for me. I really do not want to get married. I think that would change things and the cost of divorce, if that was ever needed, is just ridiculous.

I have 2 little boys with him. In total I have 6 children. He is wonderful. He treats them all equally. Please let me know!

Hope, Kalamazoo, USA

Hi Hope

If you are happy how you are, just tell him and stick to your decision, even if he will not take no for an answer. Things do change when you get married but not for the worst. People stay married for forty, fifty years - this could be you.

But if you don't, just don't tell him you love him in the way you normally do and say you need him in your life but at the moment you don't want to marry him but in the future you may do.

Tell him you want to stick together forever. My parents always said that when they got to their 35th wedding anniversary they would get married again but my father always said yes. But to someone younger that's attitude you have and should keep.