REAL LIFE - BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT! (From Warrington Guardian)

REAL LIFE - BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT!

AN essential truth of television viewing is that you must suspend all belief in real life as you know it.

The small screen is peopled by humanoid beings from some parallel universe, in which the most unlikely coincidences occur hourly and character traits are changed like a set of clothes on a regular basis.

Take last week's episode of 'Holby City' (Tuesday, BBC1). We were taken on a flight of fancy, during which four characters took part in the equivalent of a Brian Rix farce on location in Paris.

Anaesthetist Zubin (in the French capital for a job interview) was followed by smitten young nurse Jess (who happens to be his best friend's daughter). They spent most of the time agonising about their situation, with the Eiffel Tower in the background (look, we're on location abroad!).

At the same time Jess's father (consultant Ric) just happened to have travelled to the same city with stroppy nurse Donna, accompanying a patient to a consultation at a Paris hospital. What are the odds on that?

So followed a series of near meetings between the main protagonists that left me wondering if I was watching a serious drama or a performance on the London stage!

Continuing the medical theme, in Saturday's episode of 'Casualty' (BBC1) we were asked to believe that new doctor Guppy had taken a job in Accident and Emergency not realising that he might not save every person brought into the hospital.

The sensitive soul with the mournful puppy dog eyes spent the entire episode being not only a hindrance to the rest of the staff but a danger to the patients. At least he had the sense to hand in his resignation at the end of the day, but we all know what is going to happen, don't we? Harry won't accept the resignation, and the boy will prove himself big style during the next few weeks.

Of course, the truth will out in some situations. Actress Jane Leeves (Daphne in 'Frasier') treated us to the best illustration of 'just how stupid Americans are', while hosting 'Have I Got News For You' (BBC1) and discussing Dubya's re-election last Friday. "Remember, this is the country that believes Daphne's brother comes from Manchester," she reminded us!

There was also something truly reassuring about the fact that the ultimate 'smoothie' Des Lynam should win the celebrity quiz part of the National Lottery's 10th birthday programme on Saturday - he even managed to make the 'Wonder Wall' segment seem like a leisurely stroll in the park.

Having said that, he faced little competition with Tina Hobley thinking the whippet was the fastest animal on earth and Nick Knowles fighting against the bizarre, suede-patched jacket he chose to wear. What kind of fashion statement was that - a case of style SOS, I think!

The weekend drew to a close with Michael Palin singing 'The Lumberjack Song' to a couple of Himalayan residents in the final episode of his latest travelogue and the German prisoners in 'Foyle's War' (ITV1, Sunday) being forced to wear uniforms with huge, 'Mr Blobby' yellow circles on them. Somehow the tales of the residents of Springfield in the new (to Channel 4) series of 'The Simpsons' seem as real as anything else on TV - so batten down the hatches as the badgers and dolphins make their bid to take over the world!

SOAP POSER:

HAS Seth from Emmerdale won the lottery and ticked the anonymity box? How else can the man who spent most days propping up the bar in the Woolpack and blagging pints from anyone and everyone afford to stay in Australia for months on end, 'following the cricket' and knocking back the Fosters? I think we should be told.