We can't cope anymore (From Warrington Guardian)

We can't cope anymore

Hello James. 2003 was a really bad year for myself and my family and got much worse when I lost my granddad in August suddenly, aged 61. Now it seems like the family are falling apart a bit more everyday and no one seems to be able to cope.

Do you know whether things will get better and if he is at peace, because he didn't look it when he passed?

Layna, Warrington

Dear Layna, Everyone handles bereavement in different ways. The only time my family where together after my dad died was at funerals and weddings I remained close to everyone. I put the hours in running around, ringing different members of the family up.

Then a couple of years later something clicked. We all ended up as close as we were before my dad passed over. It was strange because you would think that as a family we would have pulled together, but my sister said to me when my dad died it was like a supporting brick in a wall - when it was gone the wall fell down.

2003 was not very good for me at all and when you read some of the e-mails a lot of people were unhappy. But I just feel because of all the things that were going on we just seem to soak up everything and carry it around with us.

We are very sensitive and, as such, we take our problems out on each other. This year will be different for you and your family, just put some work into keeping your relationships together. Be there for people, be the person that they can talk to. In the long run you will come out smelling of roses.